Lemmy Caution is back again. With a cigarette in his mouth, a drink in his
hand, a large grin splashed across his face and a dame on his mind. He is
as always played by the rock-hard-face of Eddie Constantine who found a home
in Europe in the 1950's and 60's playing an assortment of spies, cops, rogues
and rascals. But it was a series of Lemmy Caution films that made him a celebrity
- that and his affair with Edith Piaf. The Little Sparrow. The French in
particular took a liking to the big-fisted American who seemed to inhale
life. There is nothing very elegant about these films - full of fisticuffs,
alluring women, silly plots and smart-aleck remarks by Caution for every
occasion.
When a female FBI agent is killed and a scientist kidnapped in France, the
Bureau calls in Caution - much to his annoyance as he was on an all-night
bender of clubs, cocktails and broads. As soon as he shows up at the office
of the scientist he starts looking through file cabinets - "what are you
looking for" asks his chief - "where he hides his booze". "You have to go
to Paris to find him and your contact will be Walker" - "Johnny?' Not exactly
Voltaire. On the plane he makes time with a female (Christiane Minazzoli)
passenger whose legs seem to stretch all the way down the aisle. He uses
lines so old they had dust on them but she agrees to meet him. And then she
sets some men on his head. Just another crack in his skull for Caution. He
has had plenty and will have plenty more. For Lemmy this is a good sign.
Someone is worried and he just has to find out who.
The crooks are a bunch of left overs from bad films - besides Christiane
there is another femme fatale in the lovely shape of Elga Andersen and the
laughing ass Philippe Lemaire. The two women both want the affections of
Philippe and have a nice cat fight over him. We get another cat fight later
when the scientist's fiancée (the pixieish Gaia Germani) and Elga
have a tussle on the ground. I like these Lemmy Caution films but at times
I wonder why. They are pretty amateurish and seem to be getting more idiotic
as the series goes along. This one feels dumber than a vaccine denier. Part
of it though may be that it is dubbed into English and though the voices
are ok some of things said make so little sense that I wonder if the voice
actors were making it up as they went along. It all ends up in a dairy for
a big fist and milk fight. I would love to get a set of the Lemmy films in
French with subs and crystal clear quality - all that I know of that
is available and what I have are these fairly wretched copies released by
Sinister Cinema years ago. Except of course for Alphaville which I will attack
again some rainy day.
