Message from Space Film Review

English Version

Sonny Chiba, Etsuko Shihomi, Hiroyuki Sanada and Vic Morrow with one of Japan's greatest directors, Kinji Fukasaku. Wow!!. Zippy-do-dah. A sci-fi space adventure film. Special effects from the country of all those wonderful Kaiju films. This is the director of Battle Royale, Battles Without Honor and Humanity and other classic Yakuza films. On the heels of Star Wars with the biggest budget ever at that time for a Japanese film. I rushed into this like a teenage love affair. And damn, does this film stink. Awesomely bad. Like so many things over the years, it has managed to become a cult film of sorts with many fans. The so bad it's good phenomenon that effects a lot of movie goers. Like loving a one-eyed cat that lost its tail. Me for sure. Hell, I have watched most of the Jungle Jim films and enjoyed them. But I have my limits and this passed them at supersonic speed.

Paced like a turtle race, the special effects are so poorly done I wanted to cry, the acting so bad even their mothers walked out of the theater and a story that was a sad ripoff mash of Seven Samurai and the bad clones of Star Wars. But to be fair, the costumes of the villains were quite nifty. Samurai Space chic. Maybe this was meant for children who would cheer every time the friends yelled hooray and hugged each other and danced in a circle, which is often. Hell, there is even a smart-ass robot who upon losing an arm says, it only hurts when I laugh. I know the feeling.

In another galaxy far far away, the peaceful planet of Jillucia has been taken over by the militant Gavanas Empire. The ones with the cool costumes. The remaining Jillucians gather together to rebel but they need warriors, so their leader sends eight walnuts into space that will find the heroes. Two of them (Etsuko and Makoto Satō) travel in a space galleon to recruit the eight people. The walnuts all end up with the most annoying cast of characters that even the Marquis de Sade would want to punch. Two Hans Solo types, the daughter of a wealthy family, a guy in debt who screams all the time and Morrow, a retired grumpy General from earth. They squabble, whine, backstab and moan before deciding to help when the Gavanos learn about earth and decide to invade. And then they recruit a Samurai, Sonny Chiba. Now maybe they can actually do something because over an hour into the film, nothing has happened. The final fifteen minutes is fine as Sonny goes to work with his sword. Etsuko gets to do nothing. Boo.