Wonder Seven
Director: Ching Siu-tung
Year: 1994
Rating: 4.5
I watched this
film ages ago and didn't think it was very good, but now that Michelle Yeoh
is Everything Everywhere All at Once, I wanted to give it another go. I also
came upon a few very positive reviews and with a great pedigree, why not.
It is directed by Ching Siu-tung and choreographed by him, Dion Lam and Xiong
Xin-xin. It doesn't get much better than that. Yeoh was just coming
off her film Wing Chun which has its weaknesses (Donnie Yen) but has some
remarkable martial arts displays. Then for reasons that she later said she
regretted; she took this role in which a bunch of other actors get more screen
time than she does. You watch this a bit flabbergasted as she pops in and
out of the film for a few minutes. They are good minutes, but one expects
so much more. It's Michelle Yeoh. Come on.
She seems to have been at a cross-roads
in her Hong Kong career trying to figure out what was next. She goes on to
make a few non-action films after this - Ah Kam, The Stuntwoman in which
she badly hurt herself in a stunt, the dramatic Soong Sisters and the romantic
Moonlight Express. In between those though she made her initial foray into
Hollywood with the Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies and then of course Crouching
Tiger. She didn't return to Hong Kong action until the Indiana Jones like
The Touch in 2002 and then the super heroish Silver Hawk in 2004. Neither
were great films and silly me, I thought her career was winding down. She
was 40-years old when she made The Touch and we know what usually happens
to actresses in Hong Kong and Hollywood when they pass that age. But she
just kept making films - some action, some complete dramas, some good, some
not so good. Since then, she has been in everything from Star Trek to Marvel
to Ip Man. A remarkable career. And here is hoping she wins the Oscar this
year.
But that doesn't forgive this film. It is
even worse than I remembered. A colossal mess that has the emotional pull
of an AT&T commercial. The action is ok though heavily wired and totally
absurd at times, but the film's demise is the idiot plot and the Wonder Seven.
They are a group of six mainly young men and one female who fight crime in
Hong Kong for the Mainland security. They live together on a houseboat and
dream of the day when they open their restaurant. They are all orphans. I
already hate them. You could not find seven more annoying people if you searched
the world. They act as if they are in a frat house throwing each other into
the water, constantly yelling. playing jokes, tossing fruit at anyone who
breaks the rules. There is some talent within though - Li Ning as the leader,
Kent Cheng as the comic relief, Andy Hui, Hilary Tsui and Xiong Xin-xin.
Li Ning who won six gymnastic medals at the 1984 Olympics only made a few
films before he decided he would rather be a billionaire which he now is
from selling athletic clothes. And Xiong is a legend after the Blade.
They receive their next mission through
their point person played by veteran Kwan Shan from the Shaw Brother's days.
He introduces them to a General in Chinese security played by Wong Kam-kong.
Your mission should you decide to accept it (and being in Mainland security
you have no choice) is to retrieve two electronic cards - one from a crooked
businessman and one from a triad gang. These will open a bank account in
Switzerland with $130 million in diamonds. First though Li Ning and Michelle
meet cute at the harbor as they push each other into the water. Later she
turns out to be part of the triad gang along with Chin Ho who has the maniacal
laugh of villains but also plays the piano and drums - a Renaissance Triad.
Michelle in her black leather and sunglasses holding a long silencer looks
fabulous. When she isn't trying to kill Li Ning, she is sending him looks
of love.
Then the Mainland security under Elvis Tsui
come in with about fifty well-armed men, seal off streets and are ready to
blow up a skyscraper to get the cards. It isn't even 1997 yet and they have
taken over Hong Kong. Lots of dimwitted action - 30 bad guys with guns can't
hit six Wonders on motorcycles in an enclosed room because they didn't have
their Wheaties? Betrayals all over the place like an episode of Days of Your
Lives. I think I almost ran for my sanity when one of them is killed and
they tie this person to a motorcycle, send it over a cliff with dynamite
attached that they blow it up in mid-air as a syrupy song comes on and funeral
paper is blowing in the wind. And damn, Xiong doesn't even get a good fight
- in fact none of them do. It is just edit, edit, edit. This is a stinker
considering the talent they had.
