Naked Poison II
Let’s get right to the point. Make that points.
As in one, two, three of them. The news swept through the HK film Internet
community like a roaring California brush fire – Sophie Ngan is going the
extra mile and showing her three points. Sophie has proudly offered up
her two points before, but always stopped shy of revealing that third point
– holding it back like an ace in a game of stud poker. Now the word was
that she was cashing in her chips. In an interview she claimed that times
were tough in Hong Kong and that she was only doing it for the money. I
am shocked. I was under the impression that she was in it for the art.
Certainly her two points could be considered high art, pop art or pop tarts.
But unlike the first Naked Poison and Electrical Girl, this one was apparently
only about the money.
Thank God for commercial exploitation! It’s like
an early Christmas present. An unwrapped one. With the world teetering
on the edge of terrorism and recession, sweet Sophie brings some Christmas
cheer to the world – and allows us to forget our worries for 90-minutes
and recall what’s still good in the world. I think it is only fitting that
Sophie replace the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center this year – I would
definitely brave the crowds for the Sophie lighting ceremony - a beacon
of peace in these hard times - and how nice would it be if the window at
Macy’s was decorated with the Naked Poison theme of leather, whips, strangulation,
nudity, lesbianism and long showers. That’s my kind of Christmas! Instead,
Macy’s is showing the over the hill Ms. Piggie. Give me Sophie. You take
It’s a Wonderful Life, I’ll take Naked Poison thank you. There are the
Three Wiseman and there are the three points - take your pick this Christmas.
As one has sadly come to expect with these recent
low budget HK exploitation films, Naked Poison II is shot with little style
and no visual panache. This is rather unfortunate because the first Naked
Poison from only two years ago (2000) created a crawling, creepy atmosphere
of sleaze that almost dripped puss on you – but this film makes no pretences
at being anything but what it is - a Sophie Ngan showcase in which her
breasts get more air time than Dan Rather on an election night and need
a lot less support. Still much of it has a dull, flat low budget look that
has straight to DVD branded on it like an open sore. Not that Sophie looks
either dull or flat mind you – in fact she looks voluptuously three dimensional
in a two dimensional world. The film itself is a slight notch above other
recent Sophie outings such as Hookers World and Crime of the Beast II –
it at least pretends to care about having a plot, it has a couple vapidly
sordid scenes and it has lots of nudity. How much nudity? Follow this plot
summary if you dare.
Soon after the opening credits – Sophie in topless
mode is atop her boyfriend doing the three step fandango. A few minutes
of groaning later her boyfriend is murdered and Sophie bopped on the head.
When she comes to she can’t remember anything from her past and even develops
a mental symptom in which she forgets everything within fifteen minutes
of it occurring. This would certainly come in handy for Sophie in regards
to acting in this film – movie what movie? So Sophie begins writing things
down on various parts of her body so she won’t forget. “Next time ask for
more money” should be there somewhere. Soon her body is covered like an
Egyptian tomb with hieroglyphics. I am pretty sure I saw my name on her
backside with a smiley face nearby.
Policeman Mark Cheng shows up at her door and
begins trying to prod her memory – this leads to various flashbacks generally
entailing sex thankfully. Back in the driver’s seat with the boyfriend,
an interlude in a car with her lesbian boss, more with the boyfriend, even
a flashback to the boyfriend and some other woman having sex, then a flashback
to Sophie first watching and then joining her boyfriend and this woman
in a threesome, a bit of S&M bondage with the boss and another masked
female. In fact only poor Mark Cheng doesn’t get any (hey the guy had Diana
Pang Dan in The Imp so don’t feel too sorry for him!), but he does get
a strip tease (with the emphasis on tease) for no apparent reason. Slowly
the identity of the murderer is exposed along with loads of nubile flesh.
Not that anyone ever really cared about who the killer was – there was
only one reason that most of us tuned in to this story and with the film
nearing that magical 90-minute mark we were beginning to wonder where that
third point was hiding – was it just another PR come on that I fell for?
Then finally Sophie decides she needs a shower
(not having been able to take one of course previously with her memories
residing on her body) – a long languorous shower – the viewer is invited
to come on in and stay a while – take off your hat – put up your feet –
get a snack to munch on - because Sophie was in no hurry and neither was
I. Oops, I think you missed a spot. Field goal. And to think she did it
for the money – I thought it might be charity. I think its finally time
to put my change jar to use - Hong Kong here I come.
As a note: a Joey Wong is credited in the film
and I was thinking – wow – times really are tough! But alas this is not
THE sad-eyed lady of the lowlands Joey Wong.
My rating for this film: 3 for the film; 9.5
for Sophie (includes 3 bonus points).
