Naked Poison II

Let’s get right to the point. Make that points. As in one, two, three of them. The news swept through the HK film Internet community like a roaring California brush fire – Sophie Ngan is going the extra mile and showing her three points. Sophie has proudly offered up her two points before, but always stopped shy of revealing that third point – holding it back like an ace in a game of stud poker. Now the word was that she was cashing in her chips. In an interview she claimed that times were tough in Hong Kong and that she was only doing it for the money. I am shocked. I was under the impression that she was in it for the art. Certainly her two points could be considered high art, pop art or pop tarts. But unlike the first Naked Poison and Electrical Girl, this one was apparently only about the money.
Thank God for commercial exploitation! It’s like an early Christmas present. An unwrapped one. With the world teetering on the edge of terrorism and recession, sweet Sophie brings some Christmas cheer to the world – and allows us to forget our worries for 90-minutes and recall what’s still good in the world. I think it is only fitting that Sophie replace the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center this year – I would definitely brave the crowds for the Sophie lighting ceremony - a beacon of peace in these hard times - and how nice would it be if the window at Macy’s was decorated with the Naked Poison theme of leather, whips, strangulation, nudity, lesbianism and long showers. That’s my kind of Christmas! Instead, Macy’s is showing the over the hill Ms. Piggie. Give me Sophie. You take It’s a Wonderful Life, I’ll take Naked Poison thank you. There are the Three Wiseman and there are the three points - take your pick this Christmas.
As one has sadly come to expect with these recent low budget HK exploitation films, Naked Poison II is shot with little style and no visual panache. This is rather unfortunate because the first Naked Poison from only two years ago (2000) created a crawling, creepy atmosphere of sleaze that almost dripped puss on you – but this film makes no pretences at being anything but what it is - a Sophie Ngan showcase in which her breasts get more air time than Dan Rather on an election night and need a lot less support. Still much of it has a dull, flat low budget look that has straight to DVD branded on it like an open sore. Not that Sophie looks either dull or flat mind you – in fact she looks voluptuously three dimensional in a two dimensional world. The film itself is a slight notch above other recent Sophie outings such as Hookers World and Crime of the Beast II – it at least pretends to care about having a plot, it has a couple vapidly sordid scenes and it has lots of nudity. How much nudity? Follow this plot summary if you dare.
Soon after the opening credits – Sophie in topless mode is atop her boyfriend doing the three step fandango. A few minutes of groaning later her boyfriend is murdered and Sophie bopped on the head. When she comes to she can’t remember anything from her past and even develops a mental symptom in which she forgets everything within fifteen minutes of it occurring. This would certainly come in handy for Sophie in regards to acting in this film – movie what movie? So Sophie begins writing things down on various parts of her body so she won’t forget. “Next time ask for more money” should be there somewhere. Soon her body is covered like an Egyptian tomb with hieroglyphics. I am pretty sure I saw my name on her backside with a smiley face nearby.
Policeman Mark Cheng shows up at her door and begins trying to prod her memory – this leads to various flashbacks generally entailing sex thankfully. Back in the driver’s seat with the boyfriend, an interlude in a car with her lesbian boss, more with the boyfriend, even a flashback to the boyfriend and some other woman having sex, then a flashback to Sophie first watching and then joining her boyfriend and this woman in a threesome, a bit of S&M bondage with the boss and another masked female. In fact only poor Mark Cheng doesn’t get any (hey the guy had Diana Pang Dan in The Imp so don’t feel too sorry for him!), but he does get a strip tease (with the emphasis on tease) for no apparent reason. Slowly the identity of the murderer is exposed along with loads of nubile flesh. Not that anyone ever really cared about who the killer was – there was only one reason that most of us tuned in to this story and with the film nearing that magical 90-minute mark we were beginning to wonder where that third point was hiding – was it just another PR come on that I fell for?
Then finally Sophie decides she needs a shower (not having been able to take one of course previously with her memories residing on her body) – a long languorous shower – the viewer is invited to come on in and stay a while – take off your hat – put up your feet – get a snack to munch on - because Sophie was in no hurry and neither was I. Oops, I think you missed a spot. Field goal. And to think she did it for the money – I thought it might be charity. I think its finally time to put my change jar to use - Hong Kong here I come.
As a note: a Joey Wong is credited in the film and I was thinking – wow – times really are tough! But alas this is not THE sad-eyed lady of the lowlands Joey Wong.

My rating for this film: 3 for the film; 9.5 for Sophie (includes 3 bonus points).