No One Can Touch Her


This film also goes by 13 Evil Bandits and Against Drunken Cat’s Paw. There are also various dates out there for this film. I will go with the one from the book Deadly China Dolls of 1979.


More often than not it appears that the plots of kung fu films are only there like a clothesline to hang some action scenes on, but in this case it was really the plot that kept me interested as opposed to the action. The action has its moments – primarily at the courtesy of Judy Lee (Chia Ling) doing some drunken kung fu routines and fights. Judy gives a terrific acting performance in this film and also displays some excellent acrobatic skills.
A flashback details that she was the daughter of a respected kung fu master. This master had earlier put twelve of the Thirteen Demons behind bars – with only Wolf Fang escaping. Wanting revenge, Wolf Fang sends the Crippled Gang (consisting of the Nine Fingered Witch, Five Venom Dwarf, One Armed Dragon and the Crippled Devil) to kill the master and everyone else in his school. Just in case they don’t succeed the Two Bullies come along for support. Everyone is killed except for Judy’s fiancée and Judy – but she is nearly blinded by two darts to the eyes.
Now six months later, Judy has become a drunken wanderer – stealing wine wherever she can. We learn that her doctor prescribed wine and crying to heal her eyes! She has taken him at his word as she unloads buckets full of wine into her waiting mouth. One day through her blurry vision, she notices that her ex-fiancée has come to the same town she is in and is looking to find the killers. He sees her on the streets, but doesn’t even recognize Judy in her rags and drunken stupor. All she can do is watch him from a distance.
Sure enough the Crippled Gang, the Two Bullies and the Thirteen Demons (the 12 broke out of jail) all come to town looking to rob and kill a Master Wong who was initially responsible for ordering Judy’s father to catch them. Most of the Thirteen Demons all have great animal names – but by the time they got down the last few they must have run out of good ones – as they got stuck with Baboon and Hound – names to really terrorize the populace! Protecting Master Wong are only his daughter (Suen Ga Lam) and his niece, the fiancée, a giant carpenter (Kam Kong) and a drunken nearly blind woman. But then Judy cries.
This seemed like a perfect set up for a fabulous finale, but it unfortunately sort of fizzles out as the Thirteen Demons prove not to be so tough, but the film holds s few surprises until the end when Judy has to down a quick bottle of wine to take on Wolf Fang.

My rating for this film: 6.0