No One Can Touch Her
This film also goes by 13 Evil Bandits and Against
Drunken Cat’s Paw. There are also various dates out there for this film. I
will go with the one from the book Deadly China Dolls of 1979.
More often than not it appears that the plots
of kung fu films are only there like a clothesline to hang some action scenes
on, but in this case it was really the plot that kept me interested as opposed
to the action. The action has its moments – primarily at the courtesy of
Judy Lee (Chia Ling) doing some drunken kung fu routines and fights. Judy
gives a terrific acting performance in this film and also displays some excellent
acrobatic skills.
A flashback details that she was the daughter of a respected kung fu master.
This master had earlier put twelve of the Thirteen Demons behind bars – with
only Wolf Fang escaping. Wanting revenge, Wolf Fang sends the Crippled Gang
(consisting of the Nine Fingered Witch, Five Venom Dwarf, One Armed Dragon
and the Crippled Devil) to kill the master and everyone else in his school.
Just in case they don’t succeed the Two Bullies come along for support. Everyone
is killed except for Judy’s fiancée and Judy – but she is nearly blinded
by two darts to the eyes.
Now six months later, Judy has become a drunken wanderer – stealing wine
wherever she can. We learn that her doctor prescribed wine and crying to
heal her eyes! She has taken him at his word as she unloads buckets full
of wine into her waiting mouth. One day through her blurry vision, she notices
that her ex-fiancée has come to the same town she is in and is looking
to find the killers. He sees her on the streets, but doesn’t even recognize
Judy in her rags and drunken stupor. All she can do is watch him from a distance.
Sure enough the Crippled Gang, the Two Bullies and the Thirteen Demons (the
12 broke out of jail) all come to town looking to rob and kill a Master Wong
who was initially responsible for ordering Judy’s father to catch them. Most
of the Thirteen Demons all have great animal names – but by the time they
got down the last few they must have run out of good ones – as they got stuck
with Baboon and Hound – names to really terrorize the populace! Protecting
Master Wong are only his daughter (Suen Ga Lam) and his niece, the fiancée,
a giant carpenter (Kam Kong) and a drunken nearly blind woman. But then Judy
cries.
This seemed like a perfect set up for a fabulous finale, but it unfortunately
sort of fizzles out as the Thirteen Demons prove not to be so tough, but
the film holds s few surprises until the end when Judy has to down a quick
bottle of wine to take on Wolf Fang.
My rating for this film: 6.0