No One Can Touch Her
This film also goes by 13 Evil Bandits and Against
Drunken Cat’s Paw. There are also various dates out there for this film.
I will go with the one from the book Deadly China Dolls of 1979.
More often than not it appears that the plots
of kung fu films are only there like a clothesline to hang some action
scenes on, but in this case it was really the plot that kept me interested
as opposed to the action. The action has its moments – primarily at the
courtesy of Judy Lee (Chia Ling) doing some drunken kung fu routines and
fights. Judy gives a terrific acting performance in this film and also
displays some excellent acrobatic skills.
A flashback details that she was the daughter
of a respected kung fu master. This master had earlier put twelve of the
Thirteen Demons behind bars – with only Wolf Fang escaping. Wanting revenge,
Wolf Fang sends the Crippled Gang (consisting of the Nine Fingered Witch,
Five Venom Dwarf, One Armed Dragon and the Crippled Devil) to kill the
master and everyone else in his school. Just in case they don’t succeed
the Two Bullies come along for support. Everyone is killed except for Judy’s
fiancée and Judy – but she is nearly blinded by two darts to the
Now six months later, Judy has become a drunken
wanderer – stealing wine wherever she can. We learn that her doctor prescribed
wine and crying to heal her eyes! She has taken him at his word as she
unloads buckets full of wine into her waiting mouth. One day through her
blurry vision, she notices that her ex-fiancée has come to the same
town she is in and is looking to find the killers. He sees her on the streets,
but doesn’t even recognize Judy in her rags and drunken stupor. All she
can do is watch him from a distance.
Sure enough the Crippled Gang, the Two Bullies
and the Thirteen Demons (the 12 broke out of jail) all come to town looking
to rob and kill a Master Wong who was initially responsible for ordering
Judy’s father to catch them. Most of the Thirteen Demons all have great
animal names – but by the time they got down the last few they must have
run out of good ones – as they got stuck with Baboon and Hound – names
to really terrorize the populace! Protecting Master Wong are only his daughter
(Suen Ga Lam) and his niece, the fiancée, a giant carpenter (Kam
Kong) and a drunken nearly blind woman. But then Judy cries.
This seemed like a perfect set up for a fabulous
finale, but it unfortunately sort of fizzles out as the Thirteen Demons
prove not to be so tough, but the film holds s few surprises until the
end when Judy has to down a quick bottle of wine to take on Wolf Fang.
My rating for this film: 6.0