The Bodyguard
Reviewed by Simon Booth
Director: Petchtai Wongkamlao
Year: 2004
Starring: Petchtai Wongkamlao, Pumwaree Yodkamol
Time: ?
The Bodyguard is the directorial debut by Thai
comedian Petchtai Wongkamlao (a.k.a. Mum Jokmok), best known to audiences
outside Thailand as "Dirty Balls" from Ong Bak. It's a spoof
of action/gangster movies, most notably those from Hong Kong. As
such, it was pretty easy to follow the plot even though the Thai DVD doesn't
have subtitles. Basically, a gang boss is assassinated despite the
best efforts of his bodyguard (played by the director). The boss's
son is then attacked and loses his memory (meeting and falling for a paramedic
played by Pumwaree Yodkamol, also from Ong Bak), and the bodyguard finds
himself marked as well. Being a "dangerous hero", he doesn't opt
to take this lying down. I'm sure there's more subtlety to it than
that if you understand what they're saying, but it was easy enough to get
the general gist of the matter. On the other hand, being a comedy
and a parody means that understanding the plot is only a fraction of appreciating
the film, and obviously a lot of the jokes were wasted on me. There's
enough physical humour in the film to keep me from reaching for the fast
forward button too much though - and of course the action scenes work in
any language :)
The production values of the film are pretty high,
doubtless benefiting from the popularity of some of its cast since Ong
Bak - in fact, I'm sure Tony Jaa's very brief cameo brought in far more
investment funds than it cost. From what I understood it seemed quite
witty, and the direction was assured. What I was really there for
was the Tony Jaa cameo though, but was rewarded with a bunch of other action
scenes that are quite impressive - in a very over the top, comedic way.
The film opens with a banquet which turns out
to be an ambush, and a shootout of biblical proportions. The aim
is definitely to parody John Woo's action style, with graceful balletics
and ballistics made even more over the top than in John Woo's films.
There's some amusing gags, and the whole thing is quite exciting and amusing.
A later shootout has the hero being chased all but naked through the streets
of Bangkok with the villains coming after him with guns, and a shootout
in a supermarket is brightened up by Tony Jaa's cameo. He's only
on screen for a minute or so, and doesn't do anything as mind-boggling
as the action scenes in Ong Bak, but he does show once more that he's a
remarkable talent - his speed and power recall Bruce Lee, and his acrobatic
skills perhaps Yuen Biao. I hope he's going to have a long and fruitful
career :)
The finale of the film gives the bodyguard a chance
to engage in some gunless action (because the bad guys amusingly have a
"no guns" sign in their lair). The bad guys send their top fighters
against him, and he has to find ways to trump a super-strongman, a muay
thai warrior and a kung fu hero (replete with Wong Fei Hung theme).
These scenes parody the different styles, and feature a lot of wirework
to make the fights much, much larger than life.
Breaking the film down into its action scenes
certainly doesn't do it justice, but without the benefit of subtitles it's
difficult to weigh in on other aspects of the film. It managed to
keep me entertained for at least half the running time before I felt the
need to fastforward some of the slower scenes (the fairly pointless romance
angle). Whether the film is worth spending $10 on probably depends
how much 1 minute of Tony Jaa is worth to you (then double the sum to cover
the other action scenes). With subtitles it would definitely be recommended,
and I'm sure it will turn up with them eventually :)
Film: Not Rated
Ghost Delivery
Director: Moelthaisong
Cast: Ananda Everingham, Carla Porter
Year: 2003
Running Time: 81 minutes
This film seems to have a problem deciding
what it wants to be – a supernatural tale or a parody of one and its ambivalence
doesn’t allow it to succeed in either. Perhaps somewhere in there is a
semblance of an interesting plot but it rushes around so quickly that none
of the threads or emotions are really explored except in cursory fashion.
Bangkok is like everywhere else these days – full of ghosts – all kinds
of them – headless ones, Krasue’s (just the head floating with tentacles),
sweet ones, female ghosts with long hair – all jumbled and living together
in the crowded mess of Bangkok. One thing a lot of them share though is
boredom and a lack of direction in their after lives. This is where Piroyan
comes in.
He can see and communicate with them, but instead
of being scared he sees a business opportunity. There are a lot of humans
who like a good scare – that’s why we watch horror films – so what could
be scarier than a real ghost showing up at your house – o.k. George Bush
as President for another four years – but besides that. So he sets up a
website – pheelok.com – and people can order what kind of ghost they want
to frighten them or their friends. All of his ghost employees are pretty
good-natured and enjoy their work – sometimes they make mistakes and people
die but that’s what insurance is for. These ghosts are basically waiting
for their re-birth and Piroyan can measure their energy level to see if
their time is coming.
The film takes a turn for a plot when an evil
competitor makes a move to take over his business and his ghosts by using
the malicious Tain ghosts to capture them all. He has some long-standing
family grudge against Piroyan and wants to destroy him. In the meantime
Piroyan meets up with a clinging ghost – the kind that always follow you
home – in this case a very beautiful one called Rai who died about 100
years previously. She is extremely lovely and gentle though her energy
level is dropping quickly, but that doesn't stop Piroyan from falling for
her. The film has some so-so special effects but it just never engages
the viewer much more than a Saturday morning TV show for kids.
My rating for this film: 4.5
Unhuman
Director: Toranong Sricher
Stars: Sira Pathrat, Chollada Mekratree, Naravan
Niruthisai
Time: 108 minutes
Year: 2004
This film came as an unexpectedly enjoyable
gore-fest in which the director throws a little bit of everything into
a soup and stirs madly. It is not great filmmaking but you have to appreciate
the enthusiasm. These days it is so difficult finding legitimate horror
films from Thailand when ordering over the Internet – the DVD cover looks
intriguing and the premise seems decent and so you click “buy” – but the
vast majority of them are really poor grade straight to video dreck. I
put two films on prior to this one in trying to get a third review for
this page – the first one “Devil Species” looked like it was someone’s
vacation home video with a bunch of falangs having a picnic. I am sure
something terrible happened to them but I didn’t stick around to find out.
Next was “Haunted Dorm” – it’s one of those many Thai DVDs that extols
its 3-D capabilities – I guess it was mildly 3-D but five minutes into
it and I was bored to death with its cheap look and gave up on it. After
those two, “Unhuman” at least felt like a real movie with real ambitions.
It doesn’t start off promisingly. Five young 20-somethings
are up from Bangkok to visit the countryside to watch some meteor showers
that are scheduled to pass by later that night and I feared yet another
weak teen running around type of film ahead of me – but it goes off in
a completely different direction or directions that are fairly wild and
fun. One of the meteors crashes not far from them and strange things begin
happening soon afterwards. The military arrives and seals off the area
and the bloody remains of people begin to be discovered in the jungle.
There is also a research lab nearby and their workers begin vanishing or
showing up dead and the head of the company and his queen bitch right hand
lieutenant start leading hunting parties into the jungle to find whatever
is killing their people. The military sends a few squads into the jungle
as well as do the police along with those original five folks from Bangkok
and soon the jungle is littered with dead bodies.
Creatures are roaming the jungle – some looking
like gorillas, others like the creature from the black lagoon – with scales
and a long tail – others more like the predator – but what they have in
common is that they have a hunger – for human flesh – and the nearby village
is like a fast food restaurant. There are more organ removals than at an
Aztec sacrifice ceremony on a Friday night. Did they come from outer space
or are they somehow connected to the research lab. A female witch doctor
seems to gain control of them and sends them into a frenzy of killing and
it seems only a Buddhist priest and some virgin blood can stop her. The
queen bitch draws out some of the creatures by swimming nude in a pond
– attracting their primordial sexual urgings – and happily rips out the
heart of one of them. Throw in a big fire fight between the army and Burmese
rebels, some monster impregnation, a needed heart transplant and body parts
everywhere and you have some fairly trashy entertainment.
This clearly falls into B film territory in which
it appears that the director tries to bring in bits and pieces of many
of his favorite B movies. It has a solid budget though with nice sets and
a lot of folks running around getting killed. My only real complaint is
that whenever the monsters show up it tends to be dark or the director
plays with the speed or movement of the camera so that you never get a
really good look at them – whether this was to create a sense of danger
or simply because the cheapness of their costumes would have been obvious
I can’t say.
My rating for this film: 6.5