Krai Thong

Director: Sutat Intaranupakorn
Year: 2001
Starring: Winai Kraibutr, Champagne X, Chutima Every, Wannasa Thomgwiset
Time: 91 minutes

One would like to say with a wink and a nod that the abysmal filmmaking and truly bizarre plot of this film is simply paying homage to the sci-fi/fantasy/monster films of the 1950’s (the original of this film made then as well), but somehow I don’t think that is the case. This is just an amazingly weird and poorly made film that at some point actually becomes fairly entertaining for just those qualities. I mean how can some of the stuff that goes on here not bring a smile to one’s jaded face. This is sort of Creature from the Black Lagoon meets Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice with some very strange sexual couplings taking place. I suppose one should just accept a lot of this on face value since the film is based on a legend written up by King Rama II (1768 – 1824) – no different than Jason and the Argonauts – but to the best of my recollection Jason never had intimate relations with the fleece.

A giant crocodile is terrorizing the people in the province of Phichit (about 350 km. from Bangkok) by coming on land and killing all before it. As soon as someone starts talking about the crocodile, you can mark them up for croc grub. None of this is particularly scary though as it plays out more like a Mac Sennett comedy than anything – one fellow doesn’t notice that his hand has been eaten off till its pointed out by his bug-eyed friend – and the crocodile itself is a poor excuse for special effects. Krai Thong is a legendary crocodile hunter and he comes to slay the beast – especially after hearing the reward – one of the daughters of the village chief. As we soon learn, this is one very horny crocodile hunter and one look at the two daughters – who appear to be Thai Airline hostess who got lost – and he is ready to put his life on the line.
This is all fairly ordinary so far – but then it begins getting oh so very strange. It is revealed that the crocodile can take human form and has an appetite for human flesh – not just the eating of – but also the bedding of. So when the village adorns all of its virgins in sexy white revealing outfits for a ritual you know this will stimulate the crocodile and he shows up for the party without an invitation and grabs one of the daughters and takes her below. It turns out he has a croc cave – spacious, very nicely decorated, a lovely aquarium – it would easily get $2000 a month on the rental market in New York. Here the croc likes to relax – show his human side – read Playboy – smoke his pipe – and play doctor with his catch of the day. He also has two crocodettes that can also turn human and are total croc hotties.

Krai Thong shows up to rescue his honey – but first stops to have a shag with one of the croc hotties – I am not sure I can entirely blame him. All this is kind of fun but executed very poorly – every fight scene is shakey hand held camera and speeded up – the acting is wooden – the comic relief is painful – the crowd scenes are idiotic - the reaction shots are laughable - and the dialogue is ridiculous – but its not every day that you find yourself thinking “I wonder where I could meet a cute croc like that”. Today the cave has become a tourist stop and it has statues of Krai Thong and Chalawan (the crocodile) in front of the entrance. Last seen the crocodettes were working in a Bangkok go-go bar.

The film is on DVD with English subs from Winson.

My rating for this film: 5.0